AI in love lives: help for some, a deal-breaker for others

A survey of 1,000 US adults in relationships suggests some couples are starting to treat artificial intelligence as a source of guidance on communication, planning and conflict. A sizeable minority, however, sees that behaviour as a red line.

Use Postal found that 22% of respondents believed AI could help their relationship. At the same time, 16% said they had broken up with someone - or would do so - because a partner used AI-generated advice in the relationship.

The results add to the growing debate about how AI tools affect personal life. Recent coverage has focused on AI features in dating apps and on people forming relationships with chatbot companions. This survey points to a separate question for established couples: whether using AI as a sounding board changes how partners talk and make decisions.

Where AI fits

Respondents most often linked potential benefits to day-to-day relationship management. Improving communication was the top choice, cited by 25%. Generating date and quality-time ideas followed at 23%, and personal growth and self-reflection at 22%.

Other proposed uses clustered around practical and emotional support. Some respondents chose help with gifts (21%), resolving conflicts (20%) and spotting unhealthy patterns (17%). Smaller shares cited on-demand support when overwhelmed or unsure (14%), and overcoming barriers such as long-distance communication or language differences (12%).

Reported use in specific situations was lower than the share that viewed AI as generally useful, but still notable. Use Postal found that 9% had used AI to avoid an argument with their partner, and another 22% said they would consider doing so.

Valentine's Day planning and gifting also featured. The survey found that 8% had used AI to help with Valentine's Day plans and 28% would consider it. Separately, 7% reported using AI for gift-giving and card-sending, while 27% said they would consider it.

Generational split

Millennials were the most likely to view AI as potentially beneficial in relationships. Among them, 30% said AI could help their relationship, compared with 22% of Gen Z respondents, 15% of Gen X respondents and 9% of Boomers.

The survey also showed a gender divide. Use Postal reported that 31% of men believed AI could help their relationship, compared with 15% of women.

A similar pattern appeared in responses about avoiding arguments. When asked whether they had used or would consider using AI to help avoid arguments with a partner, 39% of millennials said yes, compared with 28% of Gen Z respondents, 25% of Gen X respondents and 21% of Boomers.

Within the millennial group, Use Postal found a sharper gender split: 47% of millennial men said they had used or would consider using AI to avoid an argument, compared with 29% of millennial women.

Breaking point

Even as some respondents looked to AI for advice, many were uneasy with a partner using machine-generated guidance in a relationship. Use Postal found that 16% said they had broken up with someone - or would do so - because their partner used AI-generated advice. That share rose to nearly one in five among Gen Z and millennials.

Concerns centred on trust and authenticity. Lack of authenticity was the most common worry (38%). Respondents also said words and actions might not feel "real" (34%), while privacy concerns followed closely (33%).

The findings point to a practical issue for couples experimenting with AI tools: consulting an external system may change the tone of a conversation, even if the advice is not followed. For some, using AI may signal disengagement or avoidance. For others, it may offer a structured way to reflect before speaking.

Survey details

Use Postal conducted the survey on the PollFish platform. It asked 1,000 US adults about relationship status, plans and opinions on Valentine's Day, and views on using AI platforms in relationships.

The sample was 40% male and 60% female, and percentages were rounded to the nearest whole number. By generation, respondents were 16% Gen Z, 43% millennials, 34% Gen X and 7% Boomers.

"One in six adults (16%) said that if their partner were using AI-generated advice in their relationship, they would consider breaking up with them," said Use Postal.